Friends?

Can I be transparent for a sec? Some lessons I learned the hard way as a teenager, I’ve had to relearn as an adult. I’m not proud of that. I’ve taught my kids lessons, and then find myself in a similar circumstance: I’ve bulldozed past the red flags that have popped up, and have found myself on the receiving end of some bullcrap that could have been prevented because I wanted to be included.

I can almost hear my mother's voice ringing in my ear, “beware of fair-weather friends”, she used to say. “Be careful who you’re listening to, and hanging around with.”

RED FLAG: If your “friend” is talking to you about other people behind their backs, chances are they’re also talking about you behind yours. And if they’re not yet, don’t hold your breath, they will in time when you fall out of line to what they think you should be saying and doing.

RED FLAG side note: If your “friend, talks about someone else to you, and adds in a sly remark “we should pray for her”, to justify gossiping about the said person; please remember that a prayer request is no excuse to be spreading anything about anyone – this excuse has been used far too long in Christian circles and it only causes harm and needs to stop.

Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and grow wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”

Man, I wish I haven’t had to learn this lesson the hard way… Am I the only one? (any hands raised?)

But I’m also so thankful for a gracious God who has allowed me to experience relationships with true friends that have helped me become wise, and to see firsthand the drastic difference between healthy and unhealthy friendships.

Friends who speak Truth.

Friends who encourage.

Friends who challenge you with grace and respect.

Friends who believe the best in you, even when you're not acting at your best.

It’s on reflection of those true friends, that makes me want to be a better friend myself.

Don’t you want to be referred to as a friend who was wise? I do!

Do your friends encourage or hinder who you are in Christ?